08/08/2025: The “Inskirts”

I feel like I’ve always been an “outskirts” kind of person. Most of the time, I’m content keeping to myself, in the quiet solitude of my own familiar space, where I don’t have to constantly worry about how I look and sound to others.

Maybe it’s just my hermit era, or maybe I’m just not one of those “inskirts” kind of people. The world demands balance after all, so just consider me part of the minority social group. Sometimes it feels more lonely to be in a room filled with people than it feels for me to be at home, and I’m learning that this is okay. 

If I don’t have anything to say, I truly am content listening. If I don’t want to play the group game, I’m seriously fine watching. I’m just searching for the others like me that may be content with being a distant part of things, and having those conversations that don’t usually transpire in the center of the main group. I’m just a quiet observer by nature, and I don’t really have a desire to jump in when I have no opinion to contribute, or sometimes even when I have a different opinion than the majority.

I’ve learned that some social interactions are kind of like the, “How are you?” in passing kind of interactions. You just say, “Good,” and you keep it moving. Sometimes a deep-seated objection or debate isn’t called for, so I’m content just nodding along. Sometimes you just know in your gut how someone might respond to your inner thoughts if uttered aloud, and it’s not worth the arguments and the denial of another point of view. Sometimes a party is just a party, and you can say you came and you saw before you quietly slip out the back when no one is looking. 

But if you’re like me, you do hope you had at least one meaningful conversation with someone who is lingering on the edge and thinking the same things you are. People who are on the inside know they’re in it, and the people who are on the outside know they’re out of the loop, and that’s fine. We tend to naturally gravitate to our likeminded counterparts, and if they just so happen to not intermingle, that’s really okay. I guess the showmanship that often comes with being a bright spot in the room isn’t my strong suit, but at least I know that. 

So if you’re ever looking for me at a social gathering, I’ll be somewhere outside the “inskirts,” waiting for the quiet few who are searching for a more calm atmosphere, and maybe even a nice intellectual conversation or two. That’s just where I thrive.