05/19/2025: Nancy Day 4

Today is my last day in solitude. Even though I was apprehensive about coming out here alone at first, I’m so glad that I did it. It’s been everything I need to slow down and enjoy simplicity and calm. 

I’ve been working super hard the last couple weeks to complete some lofty goals before I came home, and I actually pulled them off. I wrote forty hours in one week, finishing the roughest of drafts of my potential novel. I printed the rough draft out and got to hold it in my hands and feel the accomplishment and pride that I created something that I hope to one day share with the world. And unexpectedly, I’ve already completed my first of so many pass throughs and edits. I feel like I’m in a great place to celebrate and to ramp down a little as I prepare to spend the week with my family. 

I think I realized recently that I always have trouble being present. I may think I’m one hundred percent available physically, but it’s hard to regain control of the mental part of that equation. But I’m really hoping that stopping at my favorite place in nature first helps me with this, helps me to come back down to that slow paced state of mind so I can relax and welcome the no rush and nothing pressing mentality in my small hometown. 

I also get to spend time there doing some soul searching and thinking about that new potential path that we may be embarking on. So as I go home and play house in what could really be our new home next year, I’ll try to figure out if this is the right avenue for the both of us. Even if it’s not the top ideal scenario all the way around - because nothing ever is - I want to believe that it would alleviate a lot of misery that we’re collectively experiencing now. It would open the door to a less financially burdensome and less complicated way of life. And we’d be doing what we love. 

I already know that no matter what I’d have to do to earn a living, I’m too far deep into my dream to let it fall to the wayside. The only way I’d take a leap like this is if it helps us both. There’s just not room for another lateral move, or to remain where we are. We both know that we don’t want to waste another second on things that don’t serve us or matter to us. So this seemingly drastic change, this transition to simplicity and happiness, might just be our answer.