05/18/2025 (Nancy Day 3): Where Home Truly Is

It’s already my last full day in one of my favorite places on Earth. But I get to stay in the state for another week when I leave here, and I’m looking forward to seeing my family. 

The first two nights were really great here, and despite being alone, I found myself falling back into that steady and effortless rhythm of not being in a hurry to do anything except let time pass by and through me as I take the time in solitude to rejuvenate my soul. 

I also love that I’m still able to talk to my favorite human while I’m here, and I wish he was here to share this experience. We always have a great time together doing our creative things all day with music or downloaded movies playing in the background, and laughs and drinks to wind down after a relaxing and equally productive day. I find myself half expecting him to walk in or cook me breakfast, only to realize I’m missing him like a phantom limb.

It’s really hard to define or describe the love that courses through me for him, but I always feel it all around. We speak a language of our very own, and our hearts are always in sync with one another. And I know with utmost certainty that I’ll never find that in another person again, even if I wanted to - which I definitely don’t. 

Lately I’ve been afraid of all the love I hold inside and feel for someone else, because the thought of either one of us being without the other is unbearable. So that’s why I try my best to savor the time we’ve been given, to commit it to my memory to hold onto forever. Whether it’s weekly date night, or yelling in celebration or commiseration over hockey on a phone call while I’m holed up in the woods, my favorite part of the day is being his. 

Near or far, I hurt when he hurts, and I soar when he soars. He calls me gorgeous, which feels unbelievable in the same way that it makes me feel so loved every time he says it. My heart is filled with so much love it just might burst. And I know that no matter what we do and no matter where we go, that’ll be where home truly is. So as we consider taking a giant leap together into a complete unknown, I know that no matter what happens we’ll be in it together. 

As I settle into my last day of solitude here, I’ll think long and hard about what we want, and I’ll hope to wake up tomorrow with some more clarity.