05/20/2026: Wherever “There” Is

I’m busier than I’ve been in a long time. With so many potential futures before me, it’s hard to know which path will lead me forward first. 

In this whirlwind of possibilities, I’m trying to remember what I set out to do, to take the necessary chances I need to take in order to thrive for the first time in my life. I just don’t want that to fall to the wayside, no matter what I end up doing in the meantime. I feel like a broken record, but each day is: wake up, quietly panic, silently hope, and tirelessly work until I wake up and do it all again. 

I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve received this month, though, and I hope they can be a stepping stone that launches me in the right direction. This is just another “rise and grind” chapter of my life, I suppose, but it’s a little more challenging this time around; I won’t settle for just any opportunity, any chance to make it in the world. And unfortunately that just takes more patience and more time, to hold out for something truly great that’s aligned with my ambitions and my identity. 

So I’ll keep hurrying up and waiting, and I won’t stop until I’m there, wherever “there” is. I’m told constantly that I’m too hard on myself, and I know that it’s true. It’s always been true, for as long as I can remember. But somewhere beneath that pressure that emanates from the surface is a strong-willed and determined girl who knows she wouldn’t be her if it was any other way, who has created a lot of diamonds in her lifetime. 

They say if you want a job done, give it to a busy person, and I agree. It seems that the more I have on my plate, the more effort I put in—I guess that’s the inevitable result of filling said plate full, but the saying still carries weight. I don’t know who I am when I’m not working toward something worthwhile, and I know I would be lost if I didn’t set my course for a meaningful direction. 

The quote about the pessimist, the optimist, and the realist always comes to mind when things are challenging and when times are hard, and there are times where I struggle with being all three. Sometimes I don’t have any positive thoughts at all, and giving up sounds easy and good. Other times I have too much hope that my circumstances will change even though I still haven’t put forth the effort to make them change. Other times I understand that the realist is the only one who can adjust their sails, who can put in the work whether it’s easy or it’s hard, ever-adapting and rising to the occasion no matter what it may be. I’ve adjusted many sails as of late, but at least I’m floating along, ready for anything that comes my way. 

So bring it on wind and rain, come on sunshine and smooth sailing, and give me strength for everything in between.