05/06/2026: Can’t Complain
I’m a little under the weather, but it’s a beautiful and slow morning. The clouds are rolling in, the chai tea is welcome and soothing, and I don’t have anywhere to be today.
It’s hard to see progress when you’re up close, but last night I took a beat to actually acknowledge what I’ve done recently. Since I’ve been home, I’ve applied to countless jobs and gone to some networking events, but, more important, I submitted a sample of my novel for consideration for a writing fellowship. I also entered a short story into another contest, and I plan to submit a sample of my novella into another competition soon. It’s no wonder that I’m sick; every time I push beyond my limits, my body demands that I slow down and physically makes me do so. But I’m so glad I did all these things, and I’m looking forward to the next list of to-dos. I’m currently starting manuscript reviews for a friend, and I was also invited to read an advance reader copy of a new book. Things aren’t dull around here, that’s for sure. But I know I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The only thing I haven’t done in a while is create something completely new. Before I left Denver, I was plugging away at some new stories for my fantasy short story series. Since I’ve been home, I’ve been going ninety to nothing to revise and edit existing works for various considerations. I’ve enjoyed the chance to do this, but I always feel a certain type of way when I don’t produce something original every now and then. I also know that my work has naturally evolved into more long-form projects lately, and that’s not bad; I like to think that’s growth, a sign that I’m on the right track to making my creative dreams a reality in the publishing world.
I’m equally patient and eager, and I’m simultaneously worried and calm. One day I’m fine taking my time with my writing journey, and the next I’m entering another contest and searching for other ways to get involved and be seen. Sometimes I’m okay with the long process of the job search, and other times I’m in a panic, applying nonstop for a whole day. My inner peace is being tested by things it hasn’t been tested by in a long time, but in some ways it’s being rewarded for so many other things. Life is more simple, family and friends are nearer (most of them), and I’ve had an unexpected influx in time to do what I love in the meantime between the old life and starting this new one.
I can’t complain, even if my mind tries to get me to worry. I can’t go back to the way things were, even if there are things—and people—I sorely miss. It was all worth it, for so many reasons that are revealing themselves to me now, and I can’t stress how fortunate I feel to be able to have these realizations now, at an age where it’s not too late to correct my path, when I’m just getting started. And now that I’ve truly begun, I won’t waste any more time as I realize what I was made for.