03/11/2026: To All My Lasts and All My New Beginnings

This week has been all about my lasts here in Colorado. From last friend hang outs to last days in general, the next week will certainly be a whirlwind with mixed emotions. But underneath it all, I’m still feeling good about what’s coming next.

I guess things are truly real now that the apartment has transformed into a messy maze of boxes and a scavenger hunt ground for the missing tape roll. I feel like it’s a visually accurate representation of my mind currently: so many plans and thoughts to schedule and compartmentalize with no idea how to do it efficiently. At this point, I’ll be lucky if everything is in a designated place and I hit the road to Texas with my head screwed on. But I knew this time was coming, and I’ve prepared for it as best I can, so now I just have to keep moving forward. 

Things are coming along and loose ends are being tied up, so I can’t truly complain. Have I worked so hard to prepare for the move that I went into a delirious laughing fit when I couldn’t find the tote bags I was just holding? Yes. But I’ve also never slept better than I have this week, after a long day of sorting and taping up those boxes—once I find what I’m looking for, of course. 

I realized recently that my tolerance for worldly things is very low or completely non-existent these days. I don’t think I struggled this much with that fact even when I had a two-bed two-bath apartment years ago. For some reason, I feel like I have way too much stuff, despite living in one of the smallest spaces I’ve ever lived in. I don’t know if I’m feeling less sentimental about some things or if I’m just tired of packing up my ever-evolving life no matter the size; all I know for sure is that I’m ready for my decisions to truly mean something, to be a step in the right direction for myself and my long-term happiness.

For years, Caleb and I have bounced around, and each time, there was always one thing that kept us from being completely content. Whether it was the location and the price of the new place or the job and the commute, nothing ever clicked 100% for us. But now that we’ve removed the misery equation of soul-crushing careers, and now that we’re simplifying the financial and way-of-life problems, I think that I can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

This could be the beautiful reset we both so desperately need right now, and I honestly can’t wait to escape to this new life and see what it does for our collective wellbeing. All signs point to now being the right time for us in every single aspect, in the strangest and most coincidental ways. There really is no better time to start over, and though that concept used to terrify me, I think I’m finally ready to let the idea free my mind, body and soul for the first time in my existence.