05/30/2025: My Perfect Mental Reality

I’m exhausted after a week of catching up, but it feels good to be back in the swing of things. I tried to ramp down and give myself a chance to bask in my recent accomplishments, so this week has been a lot more slow paced as I do that and ease back into my routine. 

I’m excited to reach the next milestone on my creative journey, but I’m also happy to take my time getting there. Burning myself out has never worked in the past, as eager as I am to make progress. And besides, I have so many other things going on in my life that are just as important to me and my well being. I still have to give it my all on my fitness and mental wellness journey, doing things around the house and keeping a clean and happy home, and ensuring that I’m taking time out of my busy week to make sure that Caleb and I are happy and fulfilled spending meaningful time together. All these individual things make up a pretty great life so far, and they deserve my attention just as much as my creative endeavors do. And at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade any of this stuff for the world, even at my most tired and frustrated. 

The day to day may be changing for us in the near future, and I’m still trying to think long and hard about the changes that I’m willing to accept. I know I can't do it all, but I still want to be able to contribute in ways that I know how even if I have to take on new responsibilities. 

I also keep daydreaming of a new life in a new place where we can both be happy. In my perfect mental reality, we wake up early with a fresh cup of coffee, and we sit outside and welcome the sunrise in the most beautiful and familiar place in the country that I’ve ever known. After enjoying the stillness of the morning, we both settle into our respective corners of our little home and spend the day doing what we love. We pass the hours lost in our work, enjoying each other’s company, talking and laughing and bouncing ideas off each other, and after a long day of meaningful work, we spend the evening leisurely, maybe catching the sunset on our little wrap around porch, before spending time laying in bed, talking and laughing like we always do before falling asleep and waking up to do it all over again. Maybe some days we take a day off to go on a small adventure or a retail therapy spree for creative supplies or books or coffee. And maybe other days we see friends or spend time with family that’s just across town or down the road. Just living the simple and happy dream.  

I find myself falling in love with this idea more, and the more I think about it the more real it seems to become, at least in my mind. But I know how easily distorted our mind’s eye can be, and that everything always seems better - or at least easier - in our heads.