Loose Ends

09/09/2024

***Disclaimer: This story was inspired by a prompt provided by Reedsy.com. Prompt is provided below. Visit their site https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/ to learn more.***

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Prompt: Write a story about someone seeking forgiveness for their past actions

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My eyes adjusted to the blinding fluorescence as I stepped into a bright foyer. Everything was glaring white from floor tile to ceiling, and as I walked forward, a white desk slowly came into view. I could hear the faint clicking of keys on a keyboard as a woman typed away behind a white computer, unaware of my approach. I stopped at the desk and cleared my throat. The woman’s eyes snapped up to meet mine in surprise. 

“Oh, hello,” she said, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose as she smiled. “Didn’t see you there.”

“Hi?” I replied with a question, looking around. “I’m sorry, but where am I?”

The secretary studied my confused expression, lips pursed.

“Well, there really isn’t a great way to put this, so I’ll just give it to you straight, dear. You’re in purgatory.”

Purgatory?

“Purgatory?” I echoed my inner thoughts aloud as I stared past the woman and through the space between us at nothing in particular. As I digested my current reality, fragments of memory began to flash across my mind.

— 

“We need to talk,” Mom said, hands gripping the steering wheel with a white-knuckle intensity as she shot me a sideways glance.

I stared at the road with my arms crossed. 

“I don’t know what to say,” I mumbled. 

Mom’s mouth set in a hard line as she somehow gripped the steering wheel tighter. 

“I tried playing nice, but I see that’s gotten me nowhere. This whole thing is ridiculous. Whatever this is about, you better get over it.”

“I’m just supposed to snap my fingers and be happy just like that? Do you not remember what the last thing was that you said to me? Sorry if I’m not quick to be chipper after that.” 

With a sigh I turned my head and looked out the passenger window. 

“What did I say this time?” Mom said, exasperated. “Is this about the basketball tryouts? Seriously, Harper, you need to grow up. I’m just trying to push you to try new things, to find something that you’re good at. There’s still time to—”

“Mom, stop,” I cut in, turning to glare at her. “This isn’t about some dumb basketball tryouts, or trying new things. You know good and well that’s not what set you off. Why I ran away. Why you can’t even look at me the same anymore.” 

Mom paused for a long time. With a sigh she shifted her deathgrip on the wheel and kept staring forward.

“You don’t love her,” she finally said. “You’re sixteen. You don’t even know what love is.”

“How do you know how I feel?” I snapped. “You were all for me being with Grant. Ever since I was eight. Now according to you, I don’t know what love is because I didn’t choose him.”

“Grant is a nice boy,” Mom protested, her tone strained but even. 

“Yeah, emphasis on ‘boy,’” I muttered. 

“Harper, you and I both know that this ‘girlfriend’ thing is a phase. Plus that girl is nothing but trouble.” She held up air quotes as she said the word girlfriend with all of the disgust she wore on her face.

“Or do you hope it’s a phase, and you can’t admit that she’s not what you want for me?” I asked quietly without meeting her gaze. “Her name is Morgan by the way.”

“Harper, will you please listen to me?” Mom pleaded. “That girl—”

I whipped my head around and stared.  

“I can’t believe you can’t even call her by her name,” I said, voice cold. “You know what? I don’t even know why I’m wasting my breath. You made it perfectly clear that you don’t support or accept me. The words ‘disgrace’ and ‘disown’ come to mind. Why would you treat Morgan any differently?”

Mom sighed. 

“You don’t understand how this affects everyone around you. Word gets around in this small town. What will your friends think at school? What will the family think? Believe it or not, I’m just looking out for you—”

“You’re looking out for me?!” I yelled. “You’re the one that’s afraid of what everyone else will think. All that matters to you is how I make you look.”

“Harper, don’t use that tone with me,” Mom warned. 

“Or what?” I shot back. “You’ll disown me? You’ve already made it clear that you have.” 

Tears stung my eyes as I stared at the side of my mother’s tense face, watching the tightened jaw muscles clench and unclench. 

“I just think it would be a mistake . . .” Mom said quietly. 

“Then it’ll be mine to make,” I said before letting out a scoff. “It’s not like things worked out well for you and Dad. But you didn’t listen to me when—”

“Don’t you dare talk about your father to me,” Mom hissed, taking her eyes off the road. “You have no idea what I went through—!”

A loud horn blared over her screaming voice. We both turned to see a truck barreling toward us. There was a loud crash as the truck made contact. The car spun and rolled, and darkness followed. 

— 

“Miss?” the secretary said, the sound of her voice muffled in my ringing ears.

“What?” I asked, confused. 

“I said that she’s waiting for you in Room 303. Down the hall on the right.”

I stared past her down the hall that seemed to stretch on for eternity. As I willed my feet forward, my footsteps echoed on the tile as I walked, passing a series of open doors with blurry visions of memories in each one. 

I saw Grant smiling up at me, waving for me to sit in the seat he saved for me in the cafeteria. 

I saw Morgan in Biology class, stealing glances in the dim projector light in the dark classroom. 

I saw my mother, staring at me in silent shock after I told her that I met someone at school. I heard her hysterical screams about being looked down on, about not having grandkids and asking me if I really wanted to do this to our family. 

I saw the intervention that my mother secretly put together behind my back, and all my family members looking at me with silent disdain as my mother told me why they were there.

I saw Morgan standing in the doorway, taking in what I knew was a disheveled and sobbing version of myself with a backpack flung over my shoulder as I begged to hide out for a couple days after I ran away from home. I saw her holding me as I cried, eyes glistening as I told her what happened. I saw our first kiss. I heard my phone going off nonstop in my pocket, the endless angry voicemails from my mother, including the one where she told me not to bother with coming home until I got my head screwed back on right and I was ready to apologize. 

I found myself standing in front of a closed door that looked like all the others. With a shaky breath, I opened it and stepped inside. The light of the sun burned my eyes as I stepped out the front doors of my school. Students milled around as the sound of school bells filled the air. A familiar car was idling on the curb. I walked around to the passenger side and got in. 

“Mom,” I said without lifting my gaze.

“Harper,” Mom replied. I could feel her piercing eyes on me as we sat in silence.

“I guess you’re all caught up,” she said quietly. “On where we are, I mean.”

I let out a sigh. 

“Yeah . . . I guess I am. I still don’t believe it. But why this place? The car? That day?”

“I was wondering the same thing,” Mom said, gripping the steering wheel tight. “But I’m starting to think that I’m reliving this day for a reason.” She swallowed hard, meeting my gaze. To my surprise, she was holding back tears. 

“I walked down that long white hall, and I saw all of these old memories. And I heard everything I said to you, everything I—” 

She stopped abruptly as she choked on her words and tears fell freely down her face.

“I was horrified, Harper, and I was scared . . . I didn’t understand . . . and when I reached the door of this room, I saw myself holding you in my arms the day you were born . . . taking you to the park and to school when you were a little girl . . . when we were close, when you were my best friend. And then I saw it . . . the look on your face when I said those horrible things to you. Before the crash.” 

She paused, taking a few short and shaky breaths. She stared at her hands, lip trembling. 

“You don’t have to say anything, Harper. But I wanted . . . no, I needed . . . to tell you that I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t have ended like this.” 

Tears welled up in my eyes as we sat in silence. 

“I shouldn’t have said what I said,” I said finally. “About Dad. I’m sorry.”

Mom shook her head. 

“Oh, sweetie, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

With a sad smile, Mom cupped my face in her hand and brushed a tear from my cheek. 

“I see you now, Harper. And I love you. My only regret now is that you had your whole life ahead of you. And now look where you are . . . because of me.” She dropped her hand and covered her face as she began to sob.

I turned to her, gripping her hands tightly in mine as I met her gaze with a tearful smile. 

“Mom, that’s all I ever wanted.” 

A sudden blinding light came from the white door leading back to the white hall. Mom and I exchanged glances, nodding silently at one another before we both got out of the car. I took her outstretched hand and we made our way to the door. Vanishing into the light, we each passed through, beyond loose ends, unspoken words, and trivial things. 

THE END