10/14/2026: Beneath the Stars

Just when you think you’ve cracked the code, the code cracks you. Every time you have high hopes, you end up disappointed. It’s safe to say that after all is said and done, you’re better off going with the flow and managing expectations. Believe it or not, none of this is to say that you should give up and despair; it just means that being neutral and more realistic keeps you from getting hurt so much. Now try telling that to a dreamer, who can’t help but hope with every fiber of their being, to shoot for the moon even if they know they won’t land amongst the stars. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what you say. We’ll never stop, because it’s who we are.

I’ve struggled a lot with finding the balance between all things. It seems like the more I try to even the scales, the more unbalanced they become. We always chalk it up to normal ebbs and flows in our lives, but sometimes it feels like deliberate slights from the universe itself, blatant attempts to keep you under its thumb, just to see how you handle the cruel adversity that it inflicted on you out of indifference and boredom. 

Sometimes, this is just too much to handle, and pain can manifest in infinite small ways: cracking the screen your days-old new phone; missing your financial quota for the day by miniscule margins; having a small and unavoidable misunderstanding with a loved one; not meeting your life goals, whatever they may be, and the disappointment and anger that comes with the realization that you failed to do your best. It happens to all of us in some shape or form; meanwhile, the universe looks down on us and thinks, “Little things, little people, little problems.” 

Such small and brief ripples we make, in the grand scheme of the world. If we’re lucky, we’ll make a lasting impression on a handful of people—if that many—and we’ll find meaning in our mortal lives. But, if we’re unlucky for too long, those opportunities to be and do better turn into misery and countless excuses to never change. Those little things that tip the scales become too overwhelming to bear, much less overcome, and we accept that we don’t deserve grace or fulfillment while our anger, our shame, and our guilt consumes us.

I’ve teetered many times in my life, on the edge of who I was and who I want to be, in the middle of a wide gulf that separates the two. On that in-between island, inhabited by me and me alone, surrounded by gray and tumultuous waters, I’m given a choice. With each sunrise, I get to choose which shore to set sail for: my future or my past. And with each sunset, I get to drop anchor near my little island, where I return ashore and spend the night stargazing and deciding where I’ll sail to next. 

Yes, sometimes the code might crack you instead of the other way around. You might make the wrong choice. You might be angry or disappointed. You might not like your scales being out of balance, and you might not land amongst the stars when you shoot for the moon on the first—or millionth—try. 

But, as a dreamer myself, I’d be lying if I said the view beneath those stars wasn’t breathtaking.