03/25/2026: The Next Me
The day we’ve been planning for finally came and went; now we’re home. In so many ways I’m settling in, but in others I’m just marveling at how many things have stayed the same since I’ve been gone.
My road of discovery has been long, and everywhere I’ve been, a different part of me was left behind, but all those parts add up to the person I am now. The teenage me that left home was terrified, but she was eager to set off on her own. The me that came back to finish college wasn’t quite sure what she was after, but she decided to see something through to the end for the first time. The me that left with a degree under my belt that I never ended up using had plans beyond side hustles and part-time jobs in the big city, only to learn that the world doesn’t always align with your grand plans.
The me that searched all across the DFW for a place I belonged didn’t know that the career she did find—that had nothing to do with her degree—was a misery trap that would rob her of almost two years of happiness. That same girl would also be remembered as the “do not rehire” employee who gave everything and walked out the moment she finally had enough. The me that moved to Colorado found her creative stride for the first time in her life. She learned about friendship and community, each experience an invaluable one that would stay with her as she made her way back to where it all began.
And now here I am, back in my small hometown, sitting at a coffee shop thinking about all the versions of me that people will always remember, frozen in time at so many different points in my life. There’s no arguing with anyone who recalls me from an ignorant time, an unfortunate circumstance, or a blatant demand for my exploitation to cease. I’m the sum of all my parts, for better or for worse, but I have to believe that if I had the choice, I wouldn’t do much of anything differently.
I have no way of knowing what other versions of me would have arisen from one different decision, how “me” or “not me” I would feel right now in this very moment had I gone in another direction. The me I am today is reminiscent of the lessons I’ve learned, is grateful for all the people I’ve crossed paths with, and is also tired of running toward the next “best” thing, only to get some of it right and to be left feeling like there’s something else out there.
I’m scared but free for the first time in my entire life, and I’m all in for whatever comes next. I know a lot more than I once did about myself and what I want out of this life, even though I have a while to go and a lot to learn. But I look forward to the journey, ever on the brink of the next me as I continue to find myself, to become what I was meant to be.