Thriving? Surviving?
It’s been almost half a year since I did an update, which is wild because 2026 was just starting, and now I can say that the year is half over. I’ve already been home for three months, which is also crazy to think about. But, despite the craziness of these facts, things have been busy, stressful, exciting, and good, and I can say with confidence that I’m . . . thriving? Surviving? Or something in between the two?
I remember writing a lot about my dental procedure in the last update, and since then, I had my last follow-up appointment where I learned that the dental world equivalent to “I’m going to Disneyland” when asked “Do you have any plans?” after being freed from a soft food diet is “Yes, I’m going to finally eat.” The last thing I can say about that is that having Chipotle for the first time afterwards was literal heaven.
Despite all the panic-packing Caleb and I did, we still got to do some fun stuff before leaving Denver. One cool event was the Winter Walkabout in Longmont, where businesses opened their doors to local musicians to perform and we got to spend the day hopping to different places and hearing different bands. I got some of the best Mexican food I’ve ever had, and the yummiest and fastest served chai tea I’ve ever had from Ziggi’s, and the late-night McDonald’s drive-through snack, music and good vibes with Caleb on the way home was a perfect end to a perfect day. We got to see Trevor Wallace at the Paramount Theater, which was amazing. We had an outing with Caleb’s coworker, which was my first time meeting him combined with a goodbye right before we left Denver. He’s the one who also suggested that I read Lonesome Dove, which I’ll get into the details of later.
Packing became real in the final weeks when Caleb put in his notice at work and we ordered all the boxes and materials. By the time we were done packing, we had a well-stacked maze of chaos that we had to navigate around in our little studio apartment, and we had to sweat it out until the last minute about when the movers would actually show up, which wasn’t fun. I also feel compelled to admit that I do have a book-hoarding problem. When it was all said and done, I had six boxes worth of books to Caleb’s three, which made me stop and take a long hard look at the truth that I’m in complete denial about my problem. After all the lasts, from our final Denver Pizza Co. delivery at our apartment that we ate on packed boxes, to even our last dentist appointments, we were sad but ready to go. We did have some good days packing, like the one where we threw on Disney movies in the background while we worked. It was a holy trinity of some of our favorites: Atlantis, Brave, and Hercules.
We also booked one last cabin getaway to Golden before we left, and it was a great few days of unplugging with gorgeous mountain views and lots of unexpected snow. Caleb and I also enjoyed drawing and painting together (Can I just say that painting is just not for me? At least beyond a childish beginner level? It’s hard.), reading and writing, and watching the Olympics while we asked each other deep questions and just talked the hours away, still learning so much about one another after all this time together. On the way back to Denver, we had a retail day in Golden, where we went to Dutch Bros. for coffee, Barnes & Noble to spend way too much money on books one last time before the move, and Dairy Queen so I could get a chicken strip basket. It’s a rare thing to pass a Dairy Queen in that part of the world, so it was a much-welcomed treat.
There were definitely some bittersweet parts to leaving as well. I ran my last 5k in Denver, my second year running the Time to Paddy St. Patrick’s Day themed race. Though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, my old favorite coffee shop started to feel cramped and uncomfortable, and even the vibes at my usual writing place were starting to change. Despite loving Denver so much, I was just seeing so many tiny signs that told me it might be time to close that chapter of my life, at least for now, which was hard to realize. There were even signs for Caleb that it was time to leave his job, and the relief and happiness we both felt on his last day of work there can’t be overstated. He also went through the sadness of leaving his weekly art class and the wonderful city of Denver behind, but I think we both knew the time was now to start taking our dreams seriously, and I can’t think of a better way we could have set ourselves up for this next chapter than officially becoming debt free in March, something we’ve been working toward for years now, and something that felt so good to finally see come to fruition after all this time, and at such a pivotal time in our lives.
On our last day in Denver, we finally stopped at the cute little school bus-turned coffee shop on wheels that we’ve passed so many times called Buspresso, and we went on a last walk through the park. We also decided on a whim that we didn’t want to spend a night in our apartment without all our stuff, so we booked a room at The Big Texan Motel so we could head out the same day our stuff did. And what would a last day of packing be without a good ‘ole meltdown? By the end of the night, we were both at our wits’ end as we gathered the last few miscellaneous forgotten items and crammed the car with stuff the movers couldn’t take. It’s okay, it was nothing a good night’s sleep and some morning coffee and breakfast from our favorite place next door couldn’t fix. The movers were super nice and they got it all done fast, and even though they left one of our bikes in the lobby and we had to wait for them to turn around and come back to get it, it all went well. After a final goodbye to our apartment of the last two years, we finally hit the road to Texas.
It was the typical road trip, filled with reading, music, talking, to-go pizza in the motel room, old sitcom reruns, and a pitstop to see family and friends in the DFW area before we made it to Atlanta—Texas, to be more specific, just in case you forgot I’m from a small East Texas town nobody has heard of. We stayed with some friends in Fort Worth, where I had the best lasagna I think I’ve ever had in my life. I also got to use all the Torchy’s gift cards I saved from The Process, and we only spent $12 for two people. We also got to go to the Kimble Art Museum, where we saw Michelangelo’s first known painting, which is also the first of his paintings to be in North America. It was a really cool painting—albeit a little disturbing—but so cool to see in person.
Upon our return home, we settled in as best we could while we waited for the moving company to get here with our stuff, and we enjoyed a lot of quiet mornings talking to family over coffee and taking in the fresh air and nature views outside on my grandpa’s farm. A week later, Caleb and I were cooking when a semi-truck started backing down the road and into my grandparents’ driveway, and lo and behold, it was our moving guy, a day early and completely unannounced. Once the surprise wore off, we found out that he didn’t have anywhere to park for the night, so he decided to sleep in his truck cabin overnight and unload our stuff the next day. Dinner was done for a while and the guys were nowhere to be found, and when I went outside, Caleb and my grandpa were talking to the mover like they’ve known him forever, so I ended up inviting him to dinner with us. I think him and Papa became fast friends, and it was super cute to see them walking around the farm and talking until dark. The next day he was in and out in a matter of hours, and we waved goodbye as the semi-truck left down the old county road. We didn’t waste any time getting unpacked, and I did my best to dive into the job search and get settled into the new norm as quickly as I could. A week or two later, we went to the DMV, got our licenses and vehicle registration renewed, and we became legal Texans again, and Denver felt like some long lost dream.
Now for all the random and mundane things I’ve been up to and interested in since the racket of the move finally died down. In the realm of sports, Caleb and I enjoyed the winter Olympics this year, especially hockey (I know, shocker). I absolutely loved watching figure skating, and between Ilia Malinin doing literal backflips on the ice and Alysa Liu having the gold-winning skate of her life, I was awestruck. Alysa’s final skate still lives rent-free in my mind, mostly because she’s a girl who does it for the love of it above all, and that’s something to be admired to see someone do something on their own terms and actually be healthy and happy while doing it. Also, let’s go USA for winning gold in men's and women’s hockey! The gold medal match was on somewhere around five in the morning Mountain Time, so it was one of those “blow up the air mattress and lay around in the living room and try not to fall asleep when the most important match of the series is on” kinds of mornings, but I’m so glad we watched! Also, have you ever been so tired and nail-biting nervous at the same time? It’s a wild ride.
We also had our traditional—and last—Super Bowl party in Denver, but this time we just made Whole Foods pizzas, pizza rolls, and garlic bread instead of a whole Mexican spread like we did the year before. It was still really good and really fun, and I really enjoyed the Bad Bunny halftime show and watching the Seahawks beat the Patriots. Sorry, I can’t help but hold a special place in my heart for the team that might just end up being my home team one day if I get my way. I mean, come on, rain half the year? And also, that’s where Arena Net is, the studio behind Guild Wars, so once Caleb lands a job there, who knows what’ll happen?
Speaking of Guild Wars, Caleb has been helping me get through Guild Wars 2, and I finally finished the main story and got 100% world completion for the first time! Since then, I’ve also completed all other content that leads up to the first expansion, which I’m excited to dive into now because that means I can finally have a glider and I can have bragging rights as we travel through the world together—yes, it’s a jab because Caleb is always flaunting his gliding skills, even his cool boat. But it’s my turn. And now we can both get hyped because it was just confirmed that there is finally going to be a Guild Wars 3! I’m excited to be a part of this exciting development for the MMO world right now.
As far as other games go, I’ve been deep in the cozy vibes still. Animal Crossing released a new update, so I’ve been revisiting my island to renovate the new hotel there. I’ve also been putting in the hours on Little Witch in the Woods, and I recently got all the achievements! I also started playing BG3 again, and I really enjoyed tying up all the little loose ends before I finished the game a fourth time, collecting as many books and achievements as I could so maybe I don’t have to replay the game a million more times just to get them. But let’s be honest, I might still re-play it a million more times just because I feel like it. I’m saving the big challenge for last: the Honour Mode playthrough. It’s an extremely difficult task, but I think I’m ready to be brave and try, and hopefully get the rest of the achievements in one to two more playthroughs! Either way, playing again was a great escape for me right now because I don’t feel like I’m at the top of my emotional and mental game lately. If only the game of life had objective achievements . . .
I’ve also played some Minecraft, Super Smash Bros., and Overcooked 2 with my little cousin recently, and boy was there some beef when we played Minecraft. She’s at the age where it’s funny to kill me and steal all my stuff after I craft her a sword. So I did what every grown up would do in this situation: I got her back, stole all her stuff, and ran far away to a place she couldn’t follow me. She pouted for a little while and said it was my fault, and I told her she in fact started it, but after a little bit of silence we had fun playing other games together. I also did a Super Mario 3 playthrough with Mom on Mother’s Day, an old tradition that we share where we beat the game in one sitting together. I recently bought Mario RPG and Super Monkey Ball, the latter being the best of the two. I just don’t think I can play Mario in that style and actually enjoy it. Monkey Ball, however, is a classic staple for me and Caleb, and we enjoyed playing putt putt golf and bowling mini games together recently, stealing each other’s methods and taking turns beating one another. We’ve also started creating Dungeons & Dragons characters so that maybe we can start our own campaign in the future. We’ve had a few fruitful sessions, picking out our races and classes and writing our character backgrounds, but I’m itching to actually start since it’s a long process. In the meantime I’ll just have to keep watching Critical Role, which is also very much okay with me.
In the realm of TV shows, we finally finished Mr. Robot, and I can’t tell you how thrilled I was by the ending. I’m always afraid of finishing shows nowadays, because most of the time the showrunners have no clue how to tie up loose ends, and it shows. But I can say with certainty that the ending of Mr. Robot did NOT disappoint, and I know I’ll be watching it again at some point. I’d also like to add an episode to my personal Emmy-winning list of episodes, because the five-act episode in season four was absolutely wild and an unbelievable masterpiece in TV cinema . . . but no big deal or anything, it’s just an okay show—Ha. While on the subject of shows, I have to comment on a not-good show that I heard about through a YouTuber Caleb and I watch, a cancelled reality show called Who’s Your Daddy. It’s about a woman who has to meet all these men who claim to be her father, and she has to decide which one is her real father without sending him home, and understandably the show lasted only a season. It was like The Bachelorette, but like if the contestants were all claiming to be the bachelorette’s father. It was just a weird concept.
We also caught up on season two of Fallout, which is always a fun show. I finally finished season one of Wizards Beyond Waverly Place, and I’m still working on season two. I know it’s a kid’s show, and nothing will ever beat the original shows on Disney that I grew up loving, but this particular show is still near and dear to my heart. I always loved Alex’s quippy personality, and of course I had a crush on the older brother when I was a kid, and the fact that he’s in the new show definitely gives the show some brownie points right out of the gate. I also like the new Alex-like main character, another mischievous and witty wizard trying to learn how to wield her powers. Caleb and I also watched Taylor Tomlinson’s new stand-up special, Prodigal Daughter, Dave Chappelle’s new special, The Unstoppable…, and The Roast of Kevin Heart, and we started watching Alien: Earth.
I haven’t been watching as many movies as I was before the big move, but there’s still a handful of notable ones:
Sinbad (the cartoon; I had never seen it before and I’m so sorry I didn’t for so long! One of Caleb’s favorite parts is the “pickles and eggs” scene.)
Prince of Egypt (We were on a Dreamworks kick of movies either one or both of us had never seen, and this was one of them; it was pretty good, and I was surprised to find out it was a musical too.)
Sherlock Holmes (The only ones I’ll accept are the two Guy Ritchie bangers with Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. I’m sorry, you’ll just have to fight me. I’m still waiting for a third one that’ll never come . . .)
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (See comments above about how much I love this movie and the one that came before.)
Miracle (A rewatch after the Olympics ended, because we needed something to help us transition back to regular sports after watching everyone come together for Team USA. We quickly went back to hating our rivals, as true sports fans do, but it was inspiring while it lasted.)
Ben-Hur (1959) (This movie was on repeat on TV all of Easter weekend, so Caleb and I finally caught the majority of it as it replayed and replayed again. The concept of it is pretty interesting, and it’s cool that it’s based on a novel from the 1800s.)
Avatar: The Way of Water (My grandpa didn’t know there were two more Avatar movies out right now, and when I told him, he was really excited so we had a movie night together. Watching the movie again, I found even more things to love, and I can’t wait for the third one to hit Disney so we can watch that one together too!)
Zootopia 2 (I didn’t sit down to watch the whole thing, but what I saw was good! I remember watching the first movie so many times that I still don’t feel like rewatching it now, years later.)
Mulan (A classic revisit! This one always has me laughing out loud and making me want to belt out the words to “Reflection” when the song comes on.)
Titan AE (This was a childhood favorite of Caleb’s, and I watched it for the first time. It was a fun one!)
Wicked & Wicked: For Good (Nana finally agreed to watch these, and we finished them in back-to-back days. I think she really enjoyed them, and rewatching them was fun for me too.)
The Amazing Spiderman (I remember that when this came out, I didn’t understand how superhero universes worked, so I was mad that they were “replacing” Toby McGuire as Peter Parker, but now I know it’s just another comic and a different version of him, and with that knowledge, I thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie in my adult years, and rewatching it was really fun.)
The Amazing Spiderman 2 (I’m going to be honest, I only watch this one because I love to torture myself with sadness, and therefore I feel the need to subject myself to the whole Gwen Stacey tragedy. The rest of the movie wasn’t written very well even though Electro had potential as an interesting and complex character. The Green Goblin left a lot to be desired, and felt like some random addition to put the unnecessary tragedy in motion that unfolded.)
Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade (Caleb and I threw this one on and watched it with Papa, and we were both surprised and delighted when he quoted the movie and said, “It belongs in a museum!” There are also some funny jokes I missed before, and I’m starstruck every time I see John Rhys-Davies on the screen and realize I’ve met him in person. I also love Sean Connery to death, and his and Harrison Ford’s dynamic is so fun to watch.)
Blazing Saddles (There’s no way this movie would get made today, but despite this, it’s a wildly comical and brilliant movie if you can understand what they were trying to achieve with its ridiculousness.)
Red Dawn (Two things: One, I haven’t been moved by any of Charlie Sheen’s performances to be honest, popular opinion or not. Two, Patrick Swayze is the man, and he honestly carries the whole entire cast in this movie, in my potentially second unpopular opinion.)
Ice Age: The Meltdown (A classic post-horror selection from Caleb, and an old favorite for both of us! The first two are solid, and they always make us laugh out loud.)
Prometheus (We decided to watch the Alien franchise movies in order, and I watched this one for the first time. It’s a well-made movie with so much potential, but because I know about the deleted scene being the scene that literally delivers on the whole promise of the movie, I can’t be 100% happy with it. But they also filmed on Isle of Skye in Scotland, where I went on the most amazing vacation and hike of my life a couple years ago, so that was cool to see!)
Alien: Covenant (I have to say, this is probably one of the worst movies I’ve ever watched, and not just in the horror/suspense genre. I don’t even know what to say honestly, maybe just that it shouldn’t exist?)
The Notebook (I think I’ve ranted about this through every outlet I have at my disposal, but I’ll just mention it one more time: the digital rented version of this movie cuts out the most important scene, the morning after they both drift off together in an embrace and the nurse comes in and discovers they’ve passed on. Without it, it really leaves the audience with the sweet notion that they just took a nap together, which defeats the entire purpose of the whole movie’s point that their love “can do miracles” or whatever. I was so mad I laughed out loud, and I immediately went to YouTube after so I could watch the uncensored scene the way it was intended. I can’t wait to unpack my DVDs so this doesn’t happen again . . .)
Spy Kids (The first family movie night selection; honestly, it still holds up for me as a great kid’s movie from the golden age of not only my childhood, but movies in general in just about all of my favorite genres. Bring back the gems from the 2000s and 2010s please!)
American Graffiti (We watched this one with Nana and Papa because we figured they’d enjoy the cars and the music, which was true, but I think that the pacing of the movie wasn’t for me even though there were some good moments and it was a good premise of what young teenagers do on their last night of freedom before they start the rest of their lives beyond high school.)
Mortal Kombat II (A fun movie date with Caleb! Johnny Cage was definitely one of my favorite parts of the whole movie.)
I was looking back at my last life update blog to see what things I actually accomplished on the list of things I wanted to do before I left Denver, and I’m here to say that, yes:
I went to one final Friday Night Writes at The Process, and I reached 100 sessions right before I left. I was even doubling up on my sessions at the end, and on my last day there, I was there as soon as they opened their doors and I stayed for all the day sessions, then I left for an hour and I came back for one more Writers Blok event, where I wrote a blog entry in the Lofi Lounge (the cozy back room where I’ve enjoyed many reading events in the past) and thought about my time there. I also handed out goodbye letters and said farewell to all my friends there, which was bittersweet for sure.
Caleb and I spent lots of quality time with our Denver friends, eating good food and talking and laughing our butts off while playing Moving Out together on the Switch before we had to finally say “bye for now” to them as well.
I did finish marking up my second novel draft edits, but I still need to actually implement all the changes. This is currently in progress!
We got one more good snow before we moved. I think it stuck around for at least a day after, which was nice. I can’t remember if I enjoyed that cup of tea, warm blanket and a good book that I talked about in my last newsletter, but surely I enjoyed it somehow.
I’ve been super busy with various writing and editing endeavors since my last update. Before I left Denver, I got some business cards printed with all my blog and contact info, and I’ve been handing them out to people when I get the chance. Since I’ve been home, I’ve entered a short story contest and a manuscript contest, and I’ve applied to an emerging writer fellowship that would offer me a year’s worth of compensation in order to finish my novel. I don’t need to tell you what getting a fellowship like that would mean for me, but no matter what happens, I’m glad I went through the process so I can understand what it’s like if I ever apply to other fellowships in the future. It was a laborious process that consisted of editing the first fifty pages of my novel, writing a proposal and a statement of need, writing my first ever CV, and getting two letters of recommendation. My one mistake was waiting until close to the deadline, but I got it done . . . and then I got sick. I decided to take that as a sign from my body that it was a good time to rest up and regroup, so I did just that, reading Lonesome Dove in bed and catching up on Critical Role.
After submitting the fellowship application, I read a manuscript in progress for a friend from The Process, which was a great experience practicing with style sheets and exercising light copyediting and proofreading skills on a more formal level on work that wasn’t my own. I was also invited to the proofreading pool of an advance reader copy of a book by my copyediting instructor, and not only was it a great experience, but I also received good feedback on my feedback, and I even got name recognition in her email newsletter and the acknowledgements of her published book. She gave me some advice for starting out with copyediting and self-publishing too, and I’m so grateful to have made such a kind and solid connection in the writing and editing world after the whole experience.
After all of that, I’m finally getting back to my own things, which is nice. I’m editing my own short stories again, including my novel and novella, and I’m hoping to get back to writing my spin-off novella series that I haven’t worked on since leaving Denver. I also started building an Upwork profile in the hopes of getting some sort of freelancing stuff up and running. This is more of a “put myself out there and see what happens” thing right now, but I’ll never know if I don’t try so I decided to take that leap and take a chance on myself. All in all, I’m happy to be back to my regular-ish routine.
I did a Noah Kahan deep-dive recently, and I made an interesting discovery that he kind of released the same album two or three times, but with a few extra songs each time. I mean, that’s fine; I was just surprised. I love him the death either way, and I can’t wait to listen to his new album! Other than that, I’ve been listening to random stuff on my liked list, and lots of instrumental stuff while I do my creative things. I still really love movie scores and lofi when I’m writing, and even when Caleb and I are doing character creation stuff for our eventual Dungeons & Dragons campaign. I also very much enjoyed settling into bed with Lonesome Dove when I was sick and listening to ambient western music while I read. It really got me into character, so much so that I started throwing random cowboy witticisms around anytime Caleb would come talk to me. I reckon it’s mighty fittin’ to be readin’ a western in these parts of Texas. But anyway, you see what this amazing book has done to me.
Even though I haven’t been reading as much lately, I did manage to finish a couple books this year. I finished Animal Farm before the move, the first time I’ve read the book as an adult. It was very sad and scary to me this time around. I read Project Hail Mary before the movie came out, and I have to say it might be on the top of my sci-fi genre list, maybe even on my list of top books of all time. It’s so raw and funny and real all at once, and Ryan Gosling played the part perfectly in the movie. I finished Tales from the Cafe, the second book in the Before the coffee gets cold series, which was a beautiful, cozy and heartfelt treat just like the first one. If you haven’t read these, I highly recommend them! I read The Way to a Beautiful World, another James Norbury book with simple but deep wisdoms and beloved characters that always stay with me. I also bought a The Lighthouse screenplay! I’m excited to read it and learn how scriptwriting is done. As I’ve mentioned a few times already, I’m currently reading Lonesome Dove, my first Western novel ever—and, based on what I’ve heard, the only one that matters. I’m excited to watch the miniseries with my family once I finish reading it; we bought the DVD set and we’re all looking forward to the day that I finish all 800 pages. Me too family, me too . . . But in all seriousness, I’m enjoying it so much so far even though it is a tome.
In the realm of bad days, I think one of the worst was when I went on a solo trip to meet a friend in Boulder before I moved and my GPS just stopped working. I had to call Caleb to ask for help navigating downtown, and I did several turnarounds before I broke down and called him again and asked him to help me get home. It was really stressful, and the trip took way longer than it should have, but he got me back safe and sound eventually. Now that the packing nightmares are over, I think the one thing that is consistently bad and discouraging is my job search. My heart is torn between providing like I promised I would and being afraid of getting stuck at a job where I’m not appreciated and where I’m obligated to stay just for money, where I eventually hang up my dreams and just do the practical thing again.
And with each rejection—and each rewatch of La La Land—I’m more stubborn than ever about the whole idea. Right now, I just want to do something that can satisfy the money problem and the pursuit of my creative endeavors, but I guess it still remains to be seen what will win out in the end. I’ll just say this: morale is definitely low after getting immediately rejected after failing some psychological trap of a performance assessment (they even said it wasn’t graded, but I didn’t believe that for a second), and it’s even lower after applying to a job in the morning and getting a rejection email three hours later, confirming that no human being actually looked at my application or my resume. It’s only been crickets and more rejections from there, reminding me that I’m not even good enough for someone to bother to review my credentials themselves or even give me the benefit of the doubt when I don’t answer a rigged test’s answers correctly.
I also printed and filled out an application on paper and hand-delivered it in person, which was a refreshing thing to do, but it still didn’t change the fact that no one finds me competent enough to do a job I know I can do. It’s always like, “I really enjoyed talking to you, but we never thought you would actually be a good fit.” I just love feeling like a failure even though I’m trying so hard that there’s nothing else I could physically do right now to add to my efforts without actually hurting myself. There was a day I literally applied to fourteen different jobs, and after not hearing back from pretty much all of them over these last three months that I’ve been home so far, I think the idea of working for myself has never held as much potential value as it does right now. And just in case this is the calling that will help me get some money while I pursue writing, I applied to be an Amazon Flex and a Walmart Spark driver. I’m still on the waitlist for both, but at this point, between the hiring racket and the corporate formalities I’ve grown sick and tired of, I think I’d be very much content hustling for myself at this point in life. It might just be time to put the “starving” in “starving artist” and just dig into all this adversity. At least I’m free—as it currently stands, anyway.
Despite being broke, I’ve had some fun low-key outings since I’ve been home. Caleb and I enjoyed a day out in Texarkana recently, going to Spring Lake Park so I could run, then going to Seven Brew for my favorite dirty chai, Game X-Change to buy used movies and video games, Chipotle for a lunch date, and Home Depot to look for surge protectors, but to also spy on the employees to see if I recognized anyone I used to work with. It looks like all the cashiers I knew have moved on, but I did see some associates that were there when I was, and I even saw my supervisor. I don’t think she recognized me when I said hi, but that’s okay. I’ve also seen a couple movies at the theater since I’ve been back, one being The Devil Wears Prada 2 with Mom after we rewatched the first movie together. It was everything and more, and a nod to the golden era of movies that I remember so fondly still. Caleb and I also went to see Mortal Kombat II, which was fun and had cool fighting as always. As far as outings that just involve walking outside, I’ve come to enjoy mine and Caleb’s post-dinner-fresh-air-and-deep-conversation sessions. I even willingly stood in a downpour a few weeks ago when my little cousin went out to play in the puddles, ride her bike, and jump on the trampoline like I used to do when I was young, and it was nostalgic and rejuvenating in equal measure.
I’ve been trying to savor the little things a lot lately because I’m currently not making any sort of income and we’re living off savings, and also because Caleb and I worked our butts off to get ready for the move and we’re finally enjoying the fruits of our labor. For once, we’re not rushing around and screaming about packing tape and where the Sharpie has gone every two seconds, which is a nice change of pace. Since we’ve been back in Texas, I’ve enjoyed lots of time with family, from fish fries to movie nights and from rainy mornings to lots of meaningful conversations. It makes me feel at peace knowing that I’m not in a rush to visit everyone, that I can take my time and enjoy being here. I’ve enjoyed catching up with friends in the area and spending time with those who have come to visit, and spending time with Caleb in between—and even just having some time for myself. Wednesday nights have been reinstated as my “Me Time” nights, where I play games, read, or let’s be honest, watch as much Critical Role as I can squeeze into one night.
As far as small joys, triumphs, and things to come, I’m still enjoying my short story judging on Reedsy, where I’ve read some stories lately that truly moved me. I’m back to making infuser water and popsicles, the latter of which I had to try a few different things before they turned out how I wanted. I realized in the worst possible way that I’m really not all that fond of coconut water after I made two batches of strawberry kiwi popsicles that didn’t end up getting eaten. Since I switched to my own Greek yogurt recipe combined with my choice fruit, it’s been a lot better of an experience. I’m training for my first 5k since the move, which is at the end of June and will be here by the time this update gets posted. I finally bit the bullet and just bought myself a treadmill since that’s all I use at the gym anyway—and every time I’ve gone, there’s been something wrong with each treadmill I’m forced to use. Plus, it’ll pay for itself soon enough. I’m just now returning to running regularly since the move, which was an essential part of me feeling like myself. With that part of me slowly coming back, other things are starting to feel better too.
Some ways I’ve been winding down in my spare time this year include tea and Mahjong on my computer, taking in all the rainy and quiet mornings and the stormy nights, analog work away from my computer desk and screens, getting my lavender matcha fix at Starbucks (only because the local coffee shop closed down as soon as I moved back . . .), reading, watching old favorite movies for the millionth time, and sometimes just sleeping in. On the flipside, when I’m wound up in a good creative way, I love when everything within me and around me feels synergized and I’m able to be productive doing the thing I love most. The rain here has played a huge part in grounding and inspiring me, and it’s the running theme when it comes to my motivation and my inner peace, the same way it’s always been.
Recently, it’s been a struggle to remember what Caleb and I took this big leap for, but in the quiet moments in between the new day-to-day things, I know in my heart that we made the right choice. Being here has made it a lot easier to focus on what matters most to us, and once I can figure out the job/money conundrum, I’ll be feeling a lot better about where we’re headed. In the meantime, it’s amazing to see Caleb in his creative element, doing his thing each day, and even though I’m warring with a bunch of other things on top of my own creative pursuits right now, I’m never happier than when I’m right next to him writing while he does his art. Even though some people here don’t share the same feelings about creative endeavors—and the local communities that boast good art scenes don’t even understand anything beyond the base level of the craft or doing it for a living and not just a hobby—we still have hope for our dreams like never before. And I hope to have more promising things to report in my next update!
I guess that’s about all I have to say for now. As always, I’ll leave you some random thoughts to remember me by until next time:
Printers are STOOPID . . . fight me. Tell me one person who has had a good time troubleshooting printer setup and wireless printing. I’ll save you the trouble and answer for you: you can’t.
To my ex Denver neighbor, you’re lucky your cat didn’t decide to escape your apartment a third time, because I was ready to adopt him for my own and let him live with me forever and never tell you where he went. It would have been even funnier if we moved to Texas and took your beloved furball with us. He was always pleasant company when I happened to find him in the hall in front of my door, and you’re very lucky to have him.
To the woman in the luxury car who was wildly gesticulating in my rearview mirror when I didn’t immediately floor it when the light turned green, I hope you feel as ugly inside and out as I did when I imitated your behavior back at you as you sped by. Also, kindly (not really kindly though) buzz off . . . please and thank you. I hope you enjoyed getting where you were going a millisecond faster than everyone else. It must be a worthy award for such a dramatic performance.
Long story short, I recently learned that wheat domesticated us, and I know without context this sounds wild, but you’ll just have to believe me, or go read Yuval Noah Harari’s book, Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, for yourself and get back to me. But in the meantime, I’ll just say this: What really even matters anymore? We’re forever in debt to a weed that forced us to put down roots and stay a while for the sake of crop yield and feeding our families.
You know he’s a keeper when he watches the end of The Notebook with you and they cut out the final scene and he also says, “That was the whole point of the movie.” I swear—at least I think I do—that’s the last time I’ll complain about the censorship of the digital version of the movie I rented. I honestly just can’t believe it still, and I’ll probably go on still not believing it for a long time.